Miss Stein Instructs 斯泰因小姐的教诲

When we came back to Paris it was clear and cold and lovely. The city had accommodated itself to winter, there was good wood for sale at the wood and coal place across our street, and there were braziers outside of many of the good cafés so that you could keep warm on the terraces. Our own apartment was warm and cheerful. We burned boulets which were molded, egg-shaped lumps of coal dust, on the wood fire, and on the streets the winter light was beautiful. Now you were accustomed to see the bare trees against the sky and you walked on the fresh-washed gravel paths through the Luxembourg gardens in the clear sharp wind. The trees were sculpture without their leaves when you were reconciled to them, and the winter winds blew across the surfaces of the ponds and the fountains blew in the bright light. All the distances were short now since we had been in the mountains.

我们回到巴黎时天气晴朗，虽然很冷，但很舒服。这座城市已经适应了冬天。街对面卖柴禾木炭的地方能买到好柴禾。许多不错的咖啡馆外面生着火盆，你可以在台阶上取暖。我们自己的公寓温暖而令人愉悦。我们在柴火上烧煤灰压制的蛋形煤球，街道上，冬日的阳光异常秀丽。目前你已经习惯了看光秃秃的树映衬着天空，在刺骨干爽的冷风中沿着冲刷一新的砾石路穿过卢森堡花园。当你习惯了它们，掉光了叶子的树就宛如雕塑。冬天的风拂过池塘水面，喷泉在灿烂的阳光中绽放。由于我们曾在山里呆过，所有的远景目前都变得很近。

Because of the change in altitude I did not notice the grade of the hills except with pleasure, and the climb up to the top floor of the hotel where I worked, in a room that looked across all the roofs and the chimneys of the high hill of the quarter, was a pleasure. The fireplace drew well in the room and it was warm and pleasant to work. I brought mandarines and roasted chestnuts to the room in paper packets and peeled and ate the small tangerine-like oranges and threw their skins and spat their seeds in the fire when I ate them and roasted chestnuts when I was hungry. I was always hungry with the walking and the cold and the working. Up in the room I had a bottle of kirsch that we had brought back from the mountains and I took a drink of kirsch when I would get toward the end of a story or toward the end of the day's work. When I was through working for the day I put away the notebook, or the paper, in the drawer of the table and put any mandarines that were left in my pocket. They would freeze if they were left in the room at night.

由于海拔的改变，我并没有注意到山的坡度，却是满心欢喜。爬上旅馆顶层我写作的房间，从那儿就能看到这个地区高山上的所有屋顶和烟囱，那是一件愉快的事。房间里壁炉通风好，写作时既暖和又舒服。我用纸袋装了些柑橘和烤栗子带到房间，剥开像丹吉尔红橘一样的橘子吃了，把橘子皮扔到火中，把籽儿也吐到火中，饿了我就吃烤栗子。走路、寒冷、写作总是让我感到饥饿。楼上房间里有一瓶我从山里带回来的樱桃酒。故事即将收尾，或者一天写作将要结束时，我就喝点儿樱桃酒。结束一天的写作，我就收起笔记本或者稿纸，放入桌子的抽屉里，把剩下的橘子装入口袋。夜里要是把这些橘子留在房间，它们会冻住的。

It was wonderful to walk down the long flights of stairs knowing that I'd had good luck working. I always worked until I had something done and I always stopped when I knew what was going to happen next. That way I could be sure of going on the next day. But sometimes when I was starting a new story and I could not get it going, I would sit in front of the fire and squeeze the peel of the little oranges into the edge of the f lame and watch the sputter of blue that they made. I would stand and look out over the roofs of Paris and think, “Do not worry. You have always written before and you will write now. All you have to do is write one true sentence. Write the truest sentence that you know.” So finally I would write one true sentence, and then go on from there. It was easy then because there was always one true sentence that I knew or had seen or had heard someone say. If I started to write elaborately, or like someone introducing or presenting something, I found that I could cut that scrollwork or ornament out and throw it away and start with the first true simple declarative sentence I had written. Up in that room I decided that I would write one story about each thing that I knew about. I was trying to do this all the time I was writing, and it was good and severe discipline.

我顺着长长的楼梯往下走，想着当天写作进展顺利，真是一件美妙的事。我总是完成一部分写作才会停下，或者当我知道下一步会如何进展时，总是停笔，这样我就知道第二天该怎么写了。不过，有时候当我开始一个新故事却不知如何继续的时候，就会坐在壁炉边，把小橘子皮的汁挤到火苗边上，看着它们在蓝色的火光中噼啪作响。我会站在那儿，向外眺望巴黎的屋顶，心想：“别担心。你以前就一直写作，目前也能写。你要做的就是写出一句真实的句子。写出你了解的最真实的句子。”这样，最后我会写出一句真实的句子，然后从那儿接着往下写。这时就容易了，由于总有一句我知道或看过或听人说过的真实的句子。要是一开始就苦心经营，或者像有些人介绍或展示什么东西那样，我发现我会删除掉那些冗长的话或修饰语，而从已经写出的第一句真实简单的陈述句开始。在楼上那个房间，我下定决心要把我知道的每一件事都写成一个故事。写作的时候我一直努力这样做。这是有益而严格的锻炼。

It was in that room too that I learned not to think about anything that I was writing from the time I stopped writing until I started again the next day. That way my subconscious would be working on it and at the same time I would be listening to other people and noticing everything, I hoped; learning, I hoped; and I would read so that I would not think about my work and make myself impotent to do it. Going down the stairs when I had worked well, and that needed luck as well as disciple, was a wonderful feeling and I was free then to walk anywhere in Paris.

也就是在那个房间，我学会了从停笔到第二天重新动笔前不去想我正在写的任何东西。这样，我的潜意识会继续工作，同时我又能倾听别人，注意到每一件事，持续学习，我希望如此；为了不让自己净想着写作，以致无力再写下去，我会阅读。当写作进展顺利——当然这不仅需要训练，而且还要有点运气——我走下楼梯，那是一种美妙的感觉。那时我就可以在巴黎的任何地方自由自在地散步。

If I walked down by different streets to the Jardin du Luxembourg in the afternoon I could walk through the gardens and then go to the Musée du Luxembourg where the great paintings were that have now mostly been transferred to the Louvre and the Jeu de Paume. I went there nearly every day for the Cézannes and to see the Manets and the Monets and the other impressionism that I had first come to know about in the Art Institute at Chicago. I was learning something from the painting of Cézanne that made writing simple true sentences far from enough to make the stories have the dimensions that I was trying to put in them, I was learning very much from him but I was not articulate enough to explain it to anyone. Besides it was a secret. But if the light was gone in the Luxembourg I would walk up through the gardens and stop in at the studio apartment where Gertrude Stein1 lived at 27 rue de Fleurus.

如果下午经由不同的大街走到卢森堡公园，我就可以穿过花园走到卢森堡博物馆。那儿的著名画作目前大多都已经转移到卢浮宫和网球场国家画廊了。我几乎每天都去那儿看塞尚、马奈、莫奈以及我最早在芝加哥艺术学院开始了解的其他印象派画家的画。那时我正从塞尚的画里学东西，那就是，要使故事具有我正努力达到的深度，写简单真实的句子还远远不够。我从他那儿学到了许多东西，但我不善表达，无法向任何人解释清楚。况且，这还是个秘密。如果卢森堡博物馆里的灯熄了，我就穿过公园，顺便拜访格特鲁德·斯泰因在花园街27号的工作室公寓。

My wife and I had called on Miss Stein, and she and the friend2 who lived with her had been very cordial and friendly and we had loved the big studio with the great paintings. It was like one of the best rooms in the finest museum except there was a big fireplace and it was warm and comfortable and they gave you good things to eat and tea and natural distilled liqueurs made from purple plums, yellow plums or wild raspberries. These were fragrant, colorless alcohols served from cutglass carafes in small glasses and whether they were quetsche, mirabelle or framboise they all tasted like the fruits they came from, converted into a controlled fire on your tongue that warmed you and loosened it.

妻子和我曾经拜访过斯泰因小姐，她和与她一同居住的朋友都很热烈友善。我们很喜爱那个挂着名画的大工作室，它就像最精美的博物馆里一间最精致的展室，不同的是这里有一个温暖舒服的大壁炉，主人还招待可口的食物和茶水，还有用紫梅、黄梅或野覆盆子酿造的天然蒸馏的利口酒。这些酒都醇香无色，喝的时候从刻花玻璃瓶倒入小玻璃酒杯。无论这酒是李子白兰地，布拉斯李酒或是木莓白兰地，味道都像用来酿酒的原果，在舌尖化成一簇小小的火焰，让你暖和起来，话也就多了起来。

Miss Stein was very big but not tall and was heavily built like a peasant woman. She had beautiful eyes and a strong German-Jewish face that also could have been Friulano and she reminded me of a northern Italian peasant woman with her clothes, her mobile face and her lovely, thick, alive immigrant hair which she wore put up in the same way she had probably worn it in college. She talked all the time and at first it was about people and places.

斯泰因小姐块头大，但个儿不高，体格壮实得如农妇一般。她的眼睛很美丽，长着一张德国犹太人的坚毅的脸，也可能是弗留利人。她的衣着，表情丰富的脸，以及可爱、浓密、有生气的移民者的头发，梳着很可能还是她大学时才梳的样式，这些都让我联想到意大利北部的农妇。她一直在说话，且从人物和地方开始谈起。

Her companion had a very pleasant voice, was small, very dark, with her hair cut like Joan of Arc in the Boutet de Monvel3 illustrations and had a very hooked nose. She was working on a piece of needlepoint when we first met them and she worked on this and saw to the food and drink and talked to my wife. She made one conversation and listened to two and often interrupted the one she was not making. Afterwards she explained to me that she always talked to the wives. The wives, my wife and I felt, were tolerated. But we liked Miss Stein and her friend, although the friend was frightening. The paintings and the cakes and the eau-de-vie were truly wonderful. They seemed to like us too and treated us as though we were very good, well mannered and promising children and I felt that they forgave us for being in love and being married—time would fix that—and when my wife invited them to tea, they accepted.

她的同伴声音超级悦耳，身材小巧玲珑，肤色很黑，头发修剪得像布特·德·蒙维插图中的圣女贞德一样，还长着一个很尖的鹰钩鼻。我们第一次和她们见面时，她正在做刺绣。她一边做着刺绣，一边关照着食物和饮料，还和我的妻子说着话。她和这边说着话，却同时听着那边两个人的谈话，还不时打断那边她没有参与的谈话。后来她向我解释，她总是和妻子们说话。妻子和我都感觉到，妻子们是可以被宽容的。不过我们都喜爱斯泰因小姐和她的朋友，虽然这个朋友令人心生畏惧。画作、蛋糕，还有白兰地，真是美妙极了。她们似乎也喜爱我们，对待我们就像我们是乖巧听话、彬彬有礼、前途光明的孩子一样。我觉得她们不介意我们相爱并且结了婚——时间会证明这一点的——我的妻子邀请她们来喝茶，她们答应了。

When they came to our flat they seemed to like us even more; but perhaps that was because the place was so small and we were much closer together. Miss Stein sat on the bed that was on the floor and asked to see the stories I had written and she said that she liked them except one called “Up in Michigan.”

她们来我们公寓时似乎更加喜爱我们了，但也许那是由于地方太小，我们距离更近的缘故。斯泰因小姐坐在铺在地上的床垫上，提出要看我写的小说，说我写的故事她都喜爱，除了一个叫做《在密歇根州北部》的故事。

“It's good,” she said. “That's not the question at all. But it is inaccrochable. That means it is like a picture that a painter paints and then he cannot hang it when he has a show and nobody will buy it because they cannot hang it either.”

“故事不错，”她说，“这倒毫无疑问。但不能公之于众。就是说，就像一个画家画了幅画，办画展的时候却不能把它挂出来。没有人会买它，由于他们也不能挂出这幅画。”

“But what if it is not dirty but it is only that you are trying to use words that people would actually use? That are the only words that can make the story come true and that you must use them? You have to use them.”

“但如果这不是脏话，你只是想用人们现实中会用的语言呢？只有这样的语言才能使故事真实，你必须用怎么办？你不得不用它们。”

“But you don't get the point at all,” she said. “You mustn't write anything that is inaccrochable. There is no point in it. It's wrong and it's silly.”

“你根本没有理解我的意思，”她说，“你必定不能写不能公之于众的东西。这么做没有意义。这是错误的，而且很愚蠢。”

She herself wanted to be published in the Atlantic Monthly4, she told me, and she would be. She told me that I was not a good enough writer to be published there or in The Saturday Evening Post5 but that I might be some new sort of writer in my own way but the first thing to remember was not to write stories that were inaccrochable. I did not argue about this nor try to explain again what I was trying to do about conversation. That was my own business and it was much more interesting to listen. That afternoon she told us, too, how to buy pictures.

她告知我，她希望自己的作品能在《大西洋月刊》上发表，并且会发表的。她还告知我，我还不是个够格的作家，在《大西洋月刊》或《星期六晚邮报》上还发表不了作品，但我可能会成为独具风格的新型作家，而我第一要牢记的就是不要写不能公之于众的小说。对此我没有争辩，也没有再去解释我想怎么处理人物对话。那是我自己的事，而且听别人说话更有意思。那天下午她还告知我们如何买画。

“You can either buy clothes or buy pictures,” she said. “It's that simple. No one who is not very rich can do both. Pay no attention to your clothes and no attention at all to the mode, and buy your clothes for comfort and durability, and you will have the clothes money to buy pictures.”

“你要么买衣服，要么买画，”她说，“就是这么简单。不算很富裕的人不可能两者都买。不要花心思在衣服上，一点儿都不要在乎款式，就买舒服、耐穿的衣服，这样你就能把买衣服的钱用来买画了。”

“But even if I never bought any more clothing ever,” I said, “I wouldn't have enough money to buy the Picassos that I want.”

“可是即使我从不买新衣服，”我说，“我也没有足够的钱去买我想要的毕加索的画。”

“No. He's out of your range. You have to buy the people of your own age—of your own military service group. You'll know them. You'll meet them around the quarter. There are always good new serious painters. But it's not you buying clothes so much. It's your wife always. It's women's clothes that are expensive.”

“是的，他不在你的购买范围里。你只能买同龄画家的画——和你在同一个兵团服役的画家。你会认识他们的。在这个区附近你就能碰见他们。画家中总是不乏认真的后起之秀。但是不是你买衣服多，买衣服的总是你妻子。贵的总是女人的衣服。”

I saw my wife trying not to look at the strange, steerage clothes that Miss Stein wore and she was successful. When they left we were still popular, I thought, and we were asked to come again to 27 rue de Fleurus.

我看出妻子尽量不去看斯泰因小姐那身怪异、不上档次的衣服，她做得很成功。她们离开的时候，我想，她们依旧喜爱我们，而且再次邀请我们去花园街27号。

It was later on that I was asked to come to the studio any time after five in the winter time. I had met Miss Stein in the Luxembourg. I cannot remember whether she was walking her dog or not, nor whether she had a dog then. I know that I was walking myself, since we could not afford a dog nor even a cat then, and the only cats I knew were in the cafés or small restaurants or the great cats that I admired in concierges' windows. Later I often met Miss Stein with her dog in the Luxembourg gardens; but I think this time was before she had one.

到后来冬天了，斯泰因小姐邀请我在五点后来的任何时候都可以去她的工作室。我在卢森堡公园偶遇过斯泰因小姐。我忘了她是否在遛狗，也不记得那会儿她是否养了狗。我只记得我是自己一个人散步，由于那会儿我们还养不起狗，甚至连只猫都养不起。我唯一认识的就是在咖啡馆或小餐馆的猫，或是门房窗户里让我羡慕不已的肥猫。之后我常常在卢森堡花园碰见斯泰因小姐遛狗，但我觉得这次碰见她时她还没养狗。

But I accepted her invitation, dog or no dog, and had taken to stopping in at the studio, and she always gave me the natural eau-de-vie, insisting on my refilling my glass, and I looked at the pictures and we talked. The pictures were exciting and the talk was very good. She talked, mostly, and she told me about modern pictures and about painters— more about them as people than as painters—and she talked about her work. She showed me the many volumes of manuscript that she had written and that her companion typed each day. Writing every day made her happy, but as I got to know her better I found that for her to keep happy it was necessary that this steady daily output, which varied with her energy, be published and that she receive recognition.

不过，不管养没养狗，我接受了她的邀请，并且习惯了顺道拜访她的工作室。她总是给我倒上天然的白兰地，并且执意要我续杯。我则欣赏着画，和她聊天。这些画很令人兴奋，而我们的谈话也很愉快。大多时候都是她在说话，她向我介绍现代油画和画家——更多的时候是把他们当作普通人而不是画家向我介绍——她也谈自己的作品，给我看她写的、由她的同伴每天打出来的好几卷手稿。每天的写作让她很高兴，但是当我进一步了解她之后，我发现，对她来说，保持愉快的必要条件是每天固定写出来的这些东西能够发表，她能得到认可，数量的多少视她的精力而异。

This had not become an acute situation when I first knew her, since she had published three stories that were intelligible to anyone. One of there stories, “Melanctha6,'' was very good and good samples of her experimental writing had been published in book form and had been well praised by critics who had met her or known her. She had such a personality that when she wished to win anyone over to her side she would not be resisted, and critics who met her and saw her pictures took on trust writing of hers that they could not understand because of their enthusiasm for her as a person, and because of their confidence in her judgment. She had also discovered many truths about rhythms and the uses of words in repetition that were valid and valuable and she talked well about them.

我刚认识她的时候，这种情况并不严重，由于她已经发表了三篇人人都能读懂的小说。其中一篇以单行本形式发表的《梅兰克莎》写得超级好，是她实验性作品的范例，见过她或熟知她的评论家都给予了很高的评价。她是这样一个人：只要她想赢得谁的支持，别人总是抗拒不了，见过她、看过她的藏画的评论家都会对她的作品产生信任感，尽管他们看不懂，由于他们热衷于她这个人，由于他们信任她的判断力。她还探索了韵律的许多特点以及如何重复用词，这些都让人信服，而且颇具价值。对此她也讲得头头是道。

But she disliked the drudgery of revision and the obligation to make her writing intelligible, although she needed to have publication and official acceptance, especially for the unbelievably long book called The Making of Americans7.

但是她不喜爱单调乏味的修改工作，也讨厌履行把作品写得简单易懂的义务，虽然她需要出版作品，需要得到官方的认可，尤其是那本《美国人的形成》，一本冗长得不可思议的书。

This book began magnificently, went on very well for a long way with great stretches of great brilliance and then went on endlessly in repetitions that a more conscientious and less lazy writer would have put in the waste basket. I came to know it very well as I got—forced, perhaps would be the word—Ford Madox Ford to publish it in The Transatlantic Review8 serially, knowing that it would outrun the life of the review. For publication in the review I had to read all of Miss Stein's proof for her as this was a work which gave her no happiness.

这本书开篇精彩，接下来很长篇幅都很不错，文笔华丽，但随后就没完没了地重复，任何一个比她多点责任心又不像她那么懒的作家都会把这部分扔进垃圾桶。我让——也许应该说“逼迫”——福特·麦克多斯·福特在《跨大西洋评论》上连载这本书时终于清楚了这一点，我知道刊载完这本书需要的时间可能比《评论》的寿命还要长。为了在《评论》上发表这本书，我不得不替斯泰因小姐阅读她所有的校对稿，由于这样的工作不能给她带来乐趣。

On this cold afternoon when I had come past the concierge's lodge and the cold courtyard to the warmth of the studio, all that was years ahead. On this day Miss Stein was instructing me about sex. By that time we liked each other very much and I had already learned that everything I did not understand probably had something to it. Miss Stein thought that I was too uneducated about sex and I must admit that I had certain prejudices against homosexuality since I knew its more primitive aspects. I knew it was why you carried a knife and would use it when you were in the company of tramps when you were a boy in the days when wolves was not a slang term for men obsessed by the pursuit of women. I knew many inaccrochable terms and phrases from Kansas City days9 and the mores of different parts of that city, Chicago and the lake boats. Under questioning I tried to tell Miss Stein that when you were a boy and moved in the company of men, you had to be prepared to kill a man, know how to do it and really know that you would do it in order not to be interfered with. That term was accrochable. If you knew you would kill, other people sensed it very quickly and you were let alone; but there were certain situations you could not allow yourself to be forced into or trapped into. I could have expressed myself more vividly by using an inaccrochable phrase that wolves used on the lake boats, “Oh gash may be fine but one eye for mine.” But I was always careful of my language with Miss Stein even when true phrases might have clarified or better expressed a prejudice.

在这个寒冷的下午，我经过门房处，穿过寒冷的院子，来到温暖的工作室，前面说的都是几年后来的事了。这天，斯泰因小姐向我灌输关于性的知识。那时候我们都很喜爱对方，我也已经清楚，任何我不懂的东西可能都和这有点关系。斯泰因小姐认为我在性方面太无知了，而我必须承认，自从我了解了同性恋较为原始的方面以来，我就对同性恋抱有某种偏见。我知道这就是为什么当你还是个孩童时，当“色狼”还未用来作为对那些沉迷于追求女人的男人的俗称时，你就得随身准备一把小刀，在和一群流浪汉厮混时还会用上它。在堪萨斯城的日子里，我了解了许多有伤大雅的词语和短语以及该城市的不同地方、芝加哥和湖泊船只上的习俗。追问之下，我尝试告知斯泰因小姐，当你还是个孩童时，并且在一群男人中周旋，你不得不做好杀人的准备，懂得怎么杀人，并且真正清楚为了防止被侵犯你会杀人的。那个词无伤大雅。如果你知道自己要杀人，别人很快就能察觉出来，这样你就不会被侵犯；不过有一些情况你是不能允许自己被逼入或被困于其中的。要是用色狼在湖泊船只上用的一句见不得人的话，我也许能表达得更加形象：“哦，也许有个裂缝就行，但我要有个眼儿。”可是在斯泰因小姐面前我总是谨言慎语，即使当真实的话语也许能澄清或更好地表达一种偏见时，我也是很小心。

“Yes, yes, Hemingway,” she said. “But you were living in a milieu of criminals and perverts.”

“没错，没错，海明威，”她说，“不过你那时生活在一群罪犯和堕落者中。”

I did not want to argue that, although I thought that I had lived in a world as it was and there were all kinds of people in it and I tried to understand them, although some of them I could not like and some I still hated.

我不想争辩，虽然我认为我曾经生活的世界是真实的，里面有各种各样的人，我努力去了解他们，尽管其中有些人我无法喜爱，有些人我依旧厌恶不已。

“But what about the old man with beautiful manners and a great name who came to the hospital in Italy and brought me a bottle of Marsala or Campari and behaved perfectly, and then one day I would have to tell the nurse never to let that man into the room again?” I asked.

“可是那位彬彬有礼、颇有声望的老人曾来意大利的医院看我，给我带了瓶马沙拉白葡萄酒或堪培利开胃酒，风度举止堪称完美，然后有一天我却不得不告知护士别再让那个人进病房，你说这是怎么回事？”我问道。

“Those people are sick and cannot help themselves and you should pity them.”

“那些人有病，控制不住自己，你应该可怜他们。”

“Should I pity so and so?” I asked. I gave his name but he delights so in giving it himself that I feel there is no need to give it for him.

“我应该可怜某某吗？”我问道。我说出了他的名字，但既然他乐意自报姓名，我觉得这里没有必要提他的名字。

“No. He's vicious. He's a corrupter and he's truly vicious.”

“不。他道德败坏。他诱人堕落，真的很道德败坏。”

“But he's supposed to be a good writer.”

“但他应该是个好作家。”

“He's not,” she said. “He's just a showman and he corrupts for the pleasure of corruption and he leads people into other vicious practices as well. Drugs, for example.”

“他不是。”她说，“他只不过是个爱卖弄的人，他诱人堕落是为了寻求堕落的快感，他还引人染上其他恶习，列如吸毒。”

“And in Milan the man I'm to pity was not trying to corrupt me?”

“可是在米兰，这个我应该可怜的人却没有设法诱我堕落啊？”

“Don't be silly. How could he hope to corrupt you? Do you corrupt a boy like you, who drinks alcohol, with a bottle of Marsala? No, he was a pitiful old man who could not help what he was doing. He was sick and he could not help it and you should pity him.”

“别傻了。他怎么可能想诱使你堕落？你会拿一瓶马沙拉白葡萄酒去诱使像你这样一个喝烈酒的男孩堕落吗？不会的，他就是个可怜的老头，控制不住自己的所作所为。他有病，控制不住自己，你应该可怜他。”

“I did at the time,” I said. “But I was disappointed because he had such beautiful manners.”

“我那时真的同情他，”我说，“但我很失望，由于他是如此彬彬有礼。”

I took another sip of the eau-de-vie and pitied the old man and looked at Picasso's nude of the girl with the basket of flowers. I had not started the conversation and thought it had become a little dangerous. There were almost never any pauses in a conversation with Miss Stein, but we had paused and there was something she wanted to tell me and I filled my glass.

我又喝了一口白兰地，同情起那个老人，同时看着毕加索画中那个挎着一篮鲜花的裸体女孩。话题不是我开启的，我觉得谈话已经有点危险了。和斯泰因小姐交谈，中间几乎没有过任何停顿，但那次我们还是停下来了，她要告知我一些事，于是我斟满了酒杯。

“You know nothing about any of this really, Hemingway,” she said. “You've met known criminals and sick people and vicious people. The main thing is that the act male homosexuals commit is ugly and repugnant and afterwards they are disgusted with themselves. They drink and take drugs, to palliate this, but they are disgusted with the act and they are always changing partners and cannot be really happy.”

“你真的对此一无所知，海明威。”她说，“你的确碰到过人尽皆知的罪犯、病态的人和邪恶的人。但问题主要是，男同性恋者的行为是丑陋的、令人反感的，事后他们会厌恶自己。他们喝酒、吸毒，以此来减轻痛苦，但他们厌恶这种行为，所以总是更换伴侣，却不能真正快乐起来。”

“I see.”

“我清楚。”

“In women it is the opposite. They do nothing that they are disgusted by and nothing that is repulsive and afterwards they are happy and they can lead happy lives together.”

“女同性恋的情况却相反。她们不做任何让她们厌恶的事，也不做令人反感的事，事后她们很快乐，所以她们可以在一起幸福地生活。”

“I see,” I said. “But what about so and so?”

“我清楚，”我说，“可是某某呢？”

“She's vicious,” Miss Stein said. “She's truly vicious, so she can never be happy except with new people. She corrupts people.”

“她道德败坏。”斯泰因小姐说，“她真是道德败坏，所以她快乐不起来，除非和新的伴侣在一起。她诱使人堕落。”

“I understand.”

“我清楚了。”

“You're sure you understand?”

“你确定你清楚了？”

There were so many things to understand in those days and I was glad when we talked about something else. The park was closed so I had to walk down along it to the rue de Vaugirard and around the lower end of the park. It was sad when the park was closed and locked and I was sad walking around it instead of through it and in a hurry to get home to the rue Cardinal Lemoine. The day had started out so brightly too. I would have to work hard tomorrow. Work could cure almost anything, I believed then, and I believe now. Then all I had to be cured of, I decided Miss Stein felt, was youth and loving my wife. I was not at all sad when I got home to the rue Cardinal Lemoine and told my newly acquired knowledge to my wife. In the night we were happy with our own knowledge we already had and other new knowledge we had acquired in the mountains.

那些日子要清楚的事情真是太多了，所以当我们谈及别的话题时，我真的很高兴。公园已经关门了，我只好顺着公园走到沃日拉尔大街，绕过公园的低地。公园关闭、大门紧锁的时候真令人悲伤。不能穿过公园，我只好悲伤地绕过公园，匆匆走回位于勒穆瓦纳主教街上的家。这一天开始时也曾是那么阳光灿烂。明天我得努力写作。写作几乎能治愈一切，那时我是这么认为的，目前我依然这么认为。我确定斯泰因小姐觉察到了，我要治愈的正是青春和我对妻子的爱。回到位于勒穆瓦纳主教街上的家，把刚学的知识告知妻子时，我一点也不悲伤了。晚上，对于我们已获得的知识和其他在山上学到的新知识，我们感到很高兴。

(1)格特鲁德·斯泰因（1874—1946），美国作家，1903年起旅居巴黎直至去世。19世纪20年代，她的工作室成为侨居巴黎的英美作家、艺术家会聚的中心之一。

(2)这里指的是艾丽斯·巴·托克拉斯（1877—1967），和斯泰因有同性恋关系。

(3)布特·德·蒙维（1851—1913），法国画家、儿童读物插图画家，其作品《圣女贞德》于1896年出版。

(4)《大西洋月刊》，赢得多个美国期刊奖项，两个世纪以来一直受到文学爱好者们的青睐。该期刊介绍生活的方方面面，包括文学、旅行、饮食等，对国内外事件、政治、财经、艺术、人物等方面的新闻报道视角独特。

(5)《星期六晚邮报》，美国一流文艺月刊，创刊于1821年，1969年倒闭，1971年恢复季刊。

(6)《梅兰克莎》，斯泰因创作的小说《三面夏娃》的第二部分，以女人公梅兰克莎命名。

(7)《美国人的形成》，故事讲的是一个美国家庭的发展变迁。

(8)《跨大西洋评》，由福特·麦克多斯·福特1924年于巴黎创办并主编的期刊。

(9)这里指的是海明威1917年10月至1918年4月担任著名报纸《堪萨斯城明星报》新闻记者的那段日子。